Canada and its Lesser Known Regions

When you arrive in Canada you will be given an option as to where in Canada you wished to live.  This can be a difficult task for immigrants like yourself considering that Canada is a large and diverse nation with regions spreading from one freezing coast to the next.  Hundreds of cities, towns and hamlets pepper our landscape, providing safe haven for all those who need a place to call home (Unless your a suspected Tamil Tiger then we might have some problems.)

I’ve compiled a selection of five of the best places in Canada to set up shop based on some strict criteria.  Each one is unique in its own way so take your time to peruse all five.

(I’ve compiled them in no particular order except that the best one is at the top.)

1. CALGARY

Now I know what your thinking.  You think Calgary is full of cowboy bars and office buildings and ponds full of toxic ooze that devour more ducks than a Chinese buffet but let me tell you, none of this my friends is true (except for the first two and the third one maybe but I haven’t seen one).

Calgary is WORLD CLASS people!

Need Proof?

Ummm…what about the Olympics we had in 88?!  That was HUGE!  Oh and we had Pandas that year too.  HUGE Pandas!  There’s also the Calgary Stampede SO HUGE IT HURTS TO TYPE IT!

*insert Brokeback comment here*

All these huge things make for a great city!  In fact being huge is kind of important to us.  People around here usually carry huge wallets so naturally you need a big pair of pants to carry that huge ass wallet.  Then of course you’ll need a big truck to haul you around because friend you’ll have to eat tonnes of huge steaks to fill out those huge jeans you just purchased.  Its a snowball effect and it’s also why Calgary is so gosh darn expensive!

2. Vancouver

Vancouver is for lovers.  Lovers of totem poles and homeless people.  Other than that Vancouver is just like any other city in the world.  Vancouver has a sort of mythical quality to it that the youth in Canada find so appealing.  Many young people who consider themselves “trendy” flock to this ocean front metropolis because it symbolizes a place where you can really kick back, relax and let your dreads down.

Vote for Carl in the 2011 Vancouver civic election.

Vancouver dreams of being more, a lot like the population within it.  It wants to be hip like Seattle but it doesn’t have Kurt Cobain.  It wants to be trendy like San Fransisco but its too flat.  All in all its a nice enough place to live for those we consider themselves to cool for school.

3. TORONTO

A city still bitter because it isn’t the capital.

Toronto hasn’t been popular in twenty years.  There are cleaner, prettier, nicer, friendlier, better smelling, more culturally satisfying cities in Canada but Toronto has one thing that keeps the rest of Canada from telling it to shove off.

And that would be its sports teams.

Unless hockey is the only sport that gets your rocks off, we as Canadians are basically stuck cheering for professional sports teams based out of Toronto.  This is unfortunate because Toronto is unofficially cursed regarding sports.  No matter how good your team is or how well they play, teams out of Toronto are not allowed to win championships.  Thems be the rules.

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Then again I suppose you fine folks will be cheering for teams from your home country so really Toronto wont be a COMPLETE disappointment for you.

4. St. Johns

Oh now here’s a real treat for you all.

St. Johns is a beautiful retreat sitting majestically atop the cliffs over looking the bountiful Atlantic ocean.  For centuries Newfoundlanders or “Newfies” as they’re affectionately called, have lived peacefully along the coast fishing day in and day out so that every day people can take their grannies to Red Lobster any day of the week!

The Newfies also have a great sense of humor.  Observe this hilarious ad one of them has posted on kijiji

$13.25 or best offer

5. Nunavut

If you were enticed by all those stories of igloos and polar bears than this is the place for you.  If you thought Vegas had a nightlife try 24 hours in pitch black tundra!  Did I mention it’s also home to the worlds largest horizontal ski hill?

One of three black diamond runs


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Published in: on November 16, 2010 at 6:25 pm  Leave a Comment